Put on the scarlet coat, Your soft luxurious shield of armor, It is time to read your reviews And criticize your critics As the nitpicking begin Take out the cigars Then break out the cognac And pour it into a tumbler, Smother a chair with cushions And bring the cat hither Brace for the onslaught, For the renaissance Of misunderstanding And shortsighted complaints, No one great gets off easy. Look at the websites, Bring up the back pages, Flip through the newspapers And scour the magazines, Look for the thumbs and stars Then look for the letters, Not the grades, but your name, Or a title you wrote, Then realize they passed you over, The worst critics can ever do.