Joy of Parenting

The beginning of last year brought a smile to our faces. We gained parenthood again after 11 years! The difference between our two kids is 11 years and two months. At the age of forty-five, it is not an easy task to take on the responsibilities of being a father. During the birth of my first child, we were lucky to have the support from my parents. They advised us in every possible aspect. But this time we were all alone apart from the first twelve days when my brother-in-law and his wife came to rescue us. This time our elder son is playing a pivotal role in supporting us. Contrary to his young age he is much mature in all spheres. He now helps his mother in the kitchen, changes the diapers of his brother and consoles him by singing lullabies.

My wife is a very strong woman be it emotionally or physically. When our first child was 10 months old, I was transferred to Kolkata. We stayed in a big residential complex and hardly knew anyone. Due to my erratic duty schedule, I did not have any spare time to support her. She singlehandedly raised him without any domestic help. She was only twenty-two years old then! This time also we don’t have the facility of domestic help but she is getting help from both of us. I almost forgot how to raise a child because it’s a huge gap of eleven years. But gradually I have got the pace in this endeavour. Now I am supporting my wife by being a babysitter, changing his nappies and singing lullabies. Apart from these, I am also helping her in the kitchen and other household activities.   Yes all of us enjoy this phase of life, especially for me it counters my midlife crisis thoughts and brings a smile to my face. Happiness is when you see both of your children sleeping beside you!

It is found in studies that if parents are affectionate, supportive and involved then they can contribute a lot to their child’s academic career as well as social development. It can boost their children’s self-esteem, their command over language, authenticity, and a strong inner core resource.  A child’s relationship with his/her parents influences their other relationships also. Parents play the role of a preacher. They teach spiritual and philosophical knowledge to their child. From childhood, a kid should start the practice of prayer and belief in the almighty. Parents are also providers to their children; they not only provide emotional and spiritual thought but also provide materialistic needs. They are teachers. They teach academic activities along with general knowledge and current happenings. They are also a playmate and companion to their child; they play with their kid, celebrate their birthdays like grand events, attend school functions, and go to the movies with them. They also play the role of a talent developer and trainer to their child.

American author William Martin has said: ‘’Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.’’ We too want our children to be good human beings first rather than become a money-minting successful professional. They should be well aware of social responsibilities and be honest and brave. They should not tolerate injustice and raise their voice against it.  We both taught our elder son the ethics of life, chanting divine mantras and introduced him to Assamese culture and our rituals. We always try to preach to him good lessons of life, update him on current affairs and above all the habit of reading. He is always eager to visit my native place and tries to stay there as much as he can. He prefers to spend his summer vacation in my native place and requests us to go for a vacation. We always try to get him to stay away from his addiction to electronic gadgets. After his brother had come, we noticed that he was becoming more responsible than before. He knows that his brother will follow him in every bit. So he is playing it safe now. With our limited resources, we are trying our best to raise both of our children properly; the rest depends on destiny, their effort and the blessings of the almighty.