“Atharv”
“Atharv!”
“Is it you, Atharv?”
I turned my face in sheer astonishment and disbelief. I was gazing here and there in utter confusion. Most of the people were not affected by the sudden shout in the mart. Very few showed a bewildered interest in the source of voice. I was in adilemma. It was difficult to make out whether someonehad actually called my name or it was just a chimera to my ears. The voice was not much clear but it sounded very familiar.It was very sudden and unbelievable. Ihad heard that voice earlier in my life, my heart and my ears assured me of it, but I could not recall the face of its owner. I was wondering who could call me there, while my eyes were constantly looking for the face who had called my nameso correctly, without any additional foreign accent. To my ill-fate, I could not find any familiar face among those indifferent faces.
“Your bill, Sir.”, the cashier called outto me as she raised her bill-holding palm towards my lost self. I could not respond to her at that moment. I was tilted backwards, lookingconstantly for my invisible caller.
“Sir!”, she called, but was left unanswered again.
“AtharvSir!” I was dealing with my mind’s continuously arising questions. The cashier called my name and my eyes raised in hope, receiving despondency. Her third call drew myself back from poignancy to normalcy. “Oh, Sorry! I… I was lost somewhere.” I took the bill from her and gave her a hundred pound note in return. I stood there waiting for the remainders to be returned, still processing whether what had happened was true or just my mind’s delusion. Out of my sudden extreme inquisitiveness, I asked her softly, “Excuse me! Did you hear anyone calling my name…..’Atharv’?” In response to my peculiar question in that long frustrating queue, she gave me a blank yet generous smile. I got my answer. Thus, without further enquiry, I put my money in the pocket and bill in the loaded carry bag, held it and after formal greeting, went off the mart, still pondering about the voice that I had heard.
The sky was amiable. It was completely overcast with grey clouds. However, my mind wasn’t free enough to amaze at the beauty of the weather.
“Someone must be joking, or I would have misheard. No one called me!”
I was talking to myself while strolling down the snow-fed Date Street of London. The lamps were glittering, bestowing their shimmer on my path, spitting their prestigioussheen throughout the hushed road. It had been snowing since morning and it seemed to snow again. I was new to the city. Thus, I thought it would be better to return home before snowfall; but the thought of that sweet voice was preventingmy brain from coordinating with my feet. The fact that the voice wasn’t new to my ears made me more flabbergast to know about it.
“That voice was so familiar! Shhh…….but my mind! It’s too careless to remember whose it was.” These words were coming out of my mouth indisparity and frustration. I was tired of thinking about it. I had dived deep into the densest depths of my memory. My mind was continuously categorizing it as minor delusion. I had no friends yet,only my teachers and family to converse with. Thus, it was strange to believe that someone would have called me; but my heart was still red in hope. It was compelling me to introspect and implore further in my memory lanes for that sweet voice’s owner. The journey wasmuffled and lonely, conducive for that sudden inner commotion to be faced and resolved. I was still walking, slowly and clumsily, ina fix between my heart’s belief and mind’s factual yet relevant possibility; slightly inclined towards my heart’s belief due to the hope and joy which I could feel from it. Gradually, I was able to recall a person. I was clear by now that it was a girl, from my childhood. A face yet unclear, was flashing before my searching eyes when suddenly I felt a gentle touch on my drooped shoulders, too soft not to provoke me from turning back. My glance fell on a face which quenched my barren eyes. They began glistening like the street lamps, leaving behind theirusual sullenness like that of the dark sky.
“Sia!!….. Sia, Is it you??”,I made no efforts in asking this question. Words were flowing out from my lips, who were uncontrollably raised at their tips. The broken words somehow leapt from my trembling tongue to her ears. She looked at me with a brighter smile and silent look.
“I am glad you still remember me.”, she replied gently in the same sweet voice which I had recently heard andcontemplated about. “How can I forget you?”, I countered her with another question, but she accepted it with an even broader and brighter smile. “How are you?”, another silly question which came from me. I asked her in an unwonted sigh, as my heart had a lot of questions to be answered by her, infused in her sweet voice. “I am fine. How are you?”, she asked me with same simplicity as she used to talk with when we used to study together in India. My reply demanded to be fancy, but my mouth jostled up with the most common line ever, “I am fine.” I had always been a shy person, so shy that I never used to converse with anyone outside my family, and I was still like that. I remember how she instilled in me the ability of talking to people without hesitation and with full confidence. We were really good friends.
Reticence fell. I was staring at the beside snow covered tree and she was continuously eying at the ground. We weren’t looking at each other, nor talking, though we had a lot to talk about. I was wondering how much change had come to her. She had never been as diffident as this before. I wanted to say something to continue the conversation further. The weather was getting colder and hue of the sky was getting more misty.“If you don’t mind, we can walk and talk.”, she asked slowly. “Why would I mind? Okay, let’s walk.”, I don’t know why but all I was doing was just asking questions. I had loadsof questions to ask her and lots to tell, but her presence made my mind weak, and myself nervous and ‘shy’. We both were walking quietly. Covent Garden, before the street, was vacant. The benches were empty and covered with snow. Everything was bright and white andwe were just walking.
“So, how are your studies going?”, she broke the chain of long awkward silence.
“Pretty well. Science as major and Psychologyas minor.”
“Wow, that’s great.”
“And how about you??”
“I am studying Literature fromRegent’s”
“That’s great!! Pursuing your dreams.”
“You still remember what my dreams were.”
“Yes! Friends always knows each others’ dreams and feelings.”
She looked at me with a vacant yet speaking look, and then drew her eyes away with an approaching smile. I could not understand what she meant by saying that, but I could make out that there was something special and different about her statement, which was only known to her.
“How did you come here? I mean…..”
“You know we could never affordstudying abroad….. Then I got to know about a scholarship. I participated in it and luckily achieved it….. and rest his history.”
She looked at me with new exuberance. Her eyes showed respect and happiness, genuine happiness. She was truly a friend of mine. “This was meant to happen. You were cut out for it. So happy for you, Mr. Topper!” and she burst into her angelic laughter. After some time of admiration, I rested my head onmy palm with mousiness and joy. She was returning to her old self, as she was in school. “No…..nothing like that.Please don’t call me Mr. Topper again. I never liked it when anybody called me with that tag at school, especially you…… Glad you still remember that!”, I replied diffidently. “Do you still remember those days, Atharv?”, she asked gingerly. “Ahh…..those school days!! Best time of my life. Those were the days of joy and ecstasy. How can I forget them….. Each moment in my mind is as fresh as the morning dew on leaves.”, I replied excitedly. Though I never had extreme enjoyment which everyone has, due to my highly dithering nature, but yet being a part of such excited and hearty classmates always made my days happy and fun. Everyone used to talk to me but no one was my true friend except Sia. We both were very much different from each other… totallypoles apart, like that of a magnet – opposite yet attracting. At first we did not converse. She used to be surrounded by a group of her friends, and I often used to sit alone, even in the interval. I had never thought that we will even converse ever, but soon we met with each other for the first time.
“And that chemistry project, remember??”
“Yes, Very well.”, she was more jubilant on hearing my question. Her face was brighter and pinkness was approaching. She was looking at me with some concealedfeelings and messages, and with expectations that I will understand them by myself. I couldn’t sense them. I was lost in those echoing hidden tunnels of childhood somewhere mislaid in my memory. I remember that project which had made us best friends. When our teacher paired us for group project, no one could believe, not even I or Sia. We had never encountered each other and everybody knew that. Still we were coupled for the group project. At first the project seemed impossible. My introvert nature wasn’t letting us even converse well; but soon this hesitation went off. Her friendly attitude invoked my confidence. We both were soon corded in the feeble chainof friendship which grew and prospered into a strong one. We both sat together and talked a lot during intervals. She did a lot to make me expressive and assured enough to speak for myself whenever required. Our friendship was known to whole school but without any air of hypocrisy or adulthood. We were very mutual friends.It was only in class ninth when she left school for London, that too on Friendship Day. Meeting such a friend after such a long time was a very beautiful and unexpected surprise to me by my fortune. I had never expected it to show me such a great and lovely kindness. I wanted to say a lot but as my eyes turned at her, the pink tinging on her Snow White face, her silently drooped eyelashes hiding the captivating pools of her deep blue eyes and her beautiful subtle smile made me closemouthed. Though we had a lot to talk, we were just enjoying our company in that melodious tranquility.
After few steps of this sudden but marvelous journey, she irresistibly raised her bows, turned her eyes at me and asked hesitantly, “You didn’t recognize me in the mart, did you??” Her sudden question was like a dart to my heavily pounding heart. I wanted to speak but my mind was unable to find words to frame a sentence. Thus after severe pauses, I answered her with the same hesitation as the question was asked, “No, it’s not so. I had recognized your voice at the mart but I was unable to recognize you at that moment.” She began laughing her original legitimate laughter which was still as soothing as a hymn. Then prevailed serenity again. The stillness was heavenly but it was piercing me. I was feeling as if I was wasting those precious moments which my fortune had awarded me in its occasional grace. I wanted to saybut nothing was coming to my mind. I was thinking of something to keep that conversation going, when she initiated it again, “Do you remember that day??” I did not understand what she wanted me to recall. “Which Day??” “The day just before our class sixth winter vacations…..when we were playing….” I was totally blank. She was blushing hard and the sight was making me nervous. “I am unable to recollect.” She ceased as I said this. I could not understand what she wanted to tell me. She was roseate. Her pink face was fixed down on the road. I could not comprehend her feelings at that moment, but I was anxious to know which act from my childhood was making her so apprehensive. “What had I done?” I asked with bated breath. She waited for a moment, and then replied softly, “You had said that you wished we lived together for whole of our lives.”
No sooner did she complete the sentence than I sensed the transfer of pink from her face to my cheeks. It was a line full of childish innocence and immaturity. I was just a kid and she was a good friend of mine at school. Thus, I would have said this out of the feeling of friendship. Wehad been very good friends. Her company always made me jocund. I was so naïve and demure to have said that; but she had comprehended it in another way. Childish acts should not be measured by an adult’s heart.
“Ahhm…. It was”, and I gave a stilted laugh. She smiled at it too but it wasn’t the same smile which she had given seven years ago. We wanted to continue the journey but theweather was getting colder and we thought it would be better not to continue it further.
“It’s time for me to go.”
“Why, we have met after so long. Let’s go to home. Mom will be happy to see you.”
“This journey was meant to be short, Atharv.”
It was a ‘complicated’ sentence. I couldn’t get what she meant by it, and neither did she wait for me to discern it in my mind. From her mini purse, she took out a small chest which I had given to her when she was leaving for London. She blushingly presented the chest to me and said, “Happy Friendship Day.”The chest contained chocolates which she had bought from the mart. Her soft words reminded me of the time when she was leaving the school. It was a friendship day, and we were parting.
“Thanks a lot, but I don’t have anything to gift you.”
“Everything isn’t given for return.”
“ Yes but how can I just let my best friend go without a present on this auspicious Day? Come let’s go to the mart. I will gift you something from there.”
She was flushing intensely. She looked at my phone number on the bill hanging out from my carry bag. With awaited glance, she took it and began hastening away. After few inchesof short steps, she ceased and turned to me.
“I have got my gift from you Atharv, and it’s far more precious than any other present I can ever get.”
We both were standing like carved out of stone. Everything had come to a standstill. I was perplexed. I wanted to ask what she wanted to say, what gift I had given to her, but her eyes were refraining me from speaking anything. Snow began falling. We noticed it. With courage, I decided to ask what she wanted to convey to me but before I could ask anything from her, she rushed as if trying to get lost in the falling snow.
I stood there under the illimitable sky, speechless. My heart was beatingfast, telling me that a knock has been made in it by someone special. The snow was falling and the lights were sparkling. I was standing thoughtlessly, just thinking if she had taken only my bill….
