Raj’s Call Centre

I visited an ex-colleague, a retired widower. I  was surprised to see  him busy  browsing the net keenly and I saw  a number of charts, atlas, road maps, conversion tables etc pasted on the wall just above his  computer  and also many notebooks and diaries on his table.

I exclaimed: “Hey Raj, I know you cannot keep quiet,  but are you  busy doing some consultancy work? You never even informed me.”

He could sense a touch of jealousy and disappointment in me, as if  he had   quietly   developed a  software that  would  soon  be bought by a multinational for a fortune soon.

He  told  me  that  he was   doing better than  a  consultancy business by managing his own call center. Puzzled, I repeated “Your own call centre?”

He confirmed “Yah! I do  telemarketing, answering technical queries of about 20 to 25 clients daily.”

“What is your product and who are your clients?”  I  enquired very inquisitively.

He explained: “Listen, this is not a product, it is a process of finding a prospective groom for my daughter, rather USA-educated daughter who is in the USA, through my (24×7) call center Alliance usa.com. The charts, conversion charts, atlas, maps, and other stickers just in front of me are my toolbars to negotiate my deal efficiently and more competently as explained”

Inch to centimetre chart  This is  my prime tool because the first question will  be “What is the girl’s height?” Being a dedicated footprint follower, the moment I tell the height in feet and inches, a rough and authoritative voice from the other end will  demand in centimetres for differential height checking. At this juncture if I blink, I may lose a probable match  in the first count itself. With a glance at  the chart, I can instantly feed them in centimeters . At least I do not wish to lose a chance.

A Star chart comes next. The moment they spell the son’s star, I am supposed to check up the compatibility of the same to that of my daughter and confirm.The caution alert”NO Jokes ”above the chart is to restrain me from cracking a habitual joke that my daughter herself  is a superstar.  Star chart prepared and pasted on the wall serves as an instant ready reckoner for this.

Next items on the table are the cardex, the ten point  chart, and the ten point matching formula. Out of ten ingredients in the horoscope, at least six prime ingredients of the boy should match with my daughter’s as highlighted in the chart, the rest can then be vetoed and the horoscope pair is declared to be matching to proceed further. Since the triage of important factors depend on the star there is a card for each of the 27 stars. The moment I hear  the star  from the other end, I can rotate the cardex quickly to get the correct one.

On the wall you  see a compact map of the USA with individual state topography with its boundary lines and distances marked. This is for instant calculation of distances between the locations where my daughter stays to their son’s location.  This will help  to  work out a common place for their meeting, if required. Boys going to girls’ places or the girl going to the boys place are a big EGO issue between them and the point of meeting has to be an EGO neutral zone, equidistant from their places of stay. Even a few miles of relaxation would not be acceptable by both. Even hostile countries may surrender a few kilometers of border areas between them on good will but not this US living boys and girls! ( sure enough their  profile may declare that  by nature they are given and  take individuals!)

With the guide of the map I locate the distance of the neutral zone in miles. From the conversion table I convert it into kilometers for easy understanding of the boy’s parents at the other end of the receiver. I wonder why America still keeps their distances in miles. Maybe they are scared of losing their achieved MILESTONES!

Don’t you see how efficiently I am managing my clients with the help of my toolbars?  All the above are done within a few minutes while the call is on.

I do not want to miss any chance. Had I been this smart and alert during my academic or career I would have  achieved better in my life. Maybe unconsciously I kept these potentials of mine under reserve to be explored for this eventuality which is more important!”

Thus he completed his narration with a proud face.

On seeing his plight, I was happy that I blindly followed the proven traditional custom of getting my daughter married to my sister’s son. Now she is surrounded by her own kith and kin all-around and feels much secured.

Wishing him all the good luck I took leave of him with a promise to meet him after a couple of months.

As promised I visited him again. He greeted me saying ”Congratulate me.” He was so happy and declared “Got an alliance !”

I said  really that is great  at which point he quipped “Yes, not for my daughter, but for me!“

Puzzled at this, I  asked ,” For you?’’

He confirmed  and said “I came across a widow in the same situation searching for an  alliance for  her  daughter too  in America. By mutually exchanging and sharing our  burdens and concerns  we  found a lively bond between us. The beauty is I did not have to use any of my toolbars. Soon  I got married to the astonishment of  our  wards!

After congratulating him I inquired about his daughter to which he told that he was still working on it. However, he was glad  things were becoming  easier as  he  has got a partner for his call centre.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay